What excuse do you have? (funny)

The headmaster entered the class with a slightly flushed and a hard ominous look in his eyes. He surveyed the class for a few minutes and asked, "Are you not ashamed to come and sit here after what you did yesterday?" Just as a special honor to them, he read out the names of a dozen or so that had attended the class. After that he read out the names of those that had kept away, and asked them to stand up on the benches. He felt the punishement was not severe and asked them to stand on their desks.

Then they were lectured. When it was over, they were asked to offer an explantion one by one. One said that he had an attack of headache so could not come. He was asked to bring medical certificate. The second said as he was coming someone told him to go back home. The headmaster replied that if he was going to listen to every loafer, he deserve to be flogged. The punishment was pronounced 10 days attendance cancelled, two rupees fine. The third said he had an attack of headache. The fourth said he had stomach ache. The fifth said his grandmother died suddenly when he was starting for school. The headmaster asked if he could bring a letter from his father. No. He had no father. Then, who was his guardian? His grandmother. But the grandmother was dead, was she not? No. It was another grandmother. The headmaster asked how many grandmothers a person could have. No answer. Could he bring a letter from his neighbours? No, he could not. None of his neighbours could read or write, because he lived in one of the most illeterate parts of the street. Then the headmaster offered to send the teacher to this illiterate part of the locality to ascertain from the boy's neighbour if the death of his grandmother was a fact. A pause, some perspiration and then the answer that the neighbours could  not possibly know anything, since the grandmother died in the village. The headmaster hit him on the knuckles with his cane, called him the street dog and pronounced the punishment 15 days' suspension.

(the above part has been extracted from a famous novel Swami and Friends written by one of the most acclaimed authors of India R. K. Narayan)